It has been a few days but I had wanted to gather my thoughts before putting them down on paper. This was a tremendous Easter for me. I went to my first Stations of the Cross. It was actually done live with players and was incredibly powerful. I always new the story of what happened, vaguely, but to see it enacted was at times very difficult to watch. I just couldn't get past the pain. It has compelled me to see the movie "The Passion of Christ." I think one of the hardest things for me has been having faith. What does that mean really? I think over the past couple of years that has been a big question for me and the conclusion that I have found is that I'm not going to be given a magic formula for the answer. The answer has to come from within and I have to relinquish the need to have total control! Wow, that is hard! I have friends that are just so amazing with their sense of faith and how it is such a big important part of their lives. I look on them as my touchstones to really believing in faith and having it be important in my life. Our Easter mass was amazing! I left mass feeling so at peace, a peace I don't think I have every felt. I guess you could say I had one of those "Aha" moments. Now, I'm not silly to think there won't be ups and downs, but that is life! Again, I'm such a work in progress.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
My Brick Wall
Hello Friend,
I went to my first dance class in 4 years tonight! It was absolutely wonderful! It is a ballet/tap combo class for adults and there were 3 of us plus the teacher. It was great. I had boob sweat! I'm still in shock over the fact that I had boob sweat! I haven't had that in 4 years. It felt great. What wasn't so great was seeing myself in a leotard. That was definitely a low in the evening. I just wrote about it to my friends and that was tough. Finally admitting to myself that I need to get working. Hello my name is Kim and I'm a talker and not a doer about my health. Hello Kim! I just sat there staring, realizing that I have been in complete denial over how I felt about how I looked more importantly how I felt. Like I told my friends it wasn't all about how I looked but how I felt about my not being completely engaged in getting healthy and in shape. What was I thinking? We'll I can tell you..."it's not that bad." I have uttered that phrase to myself too many times. In dance class, you are always critiquing how you look during technique, choreography etc. You have to be honest with yourself and if something isn't working right you find a way to fix it. Why has it taken me so long to look in the mirror and be honest with myself that this isn't working and I have to fix my health? It was a good awakening in lighting the fire under my tush to be serious! I hope I didn't get too deep in relaying this story to my friends? I just hope I didn't get to heavy. I'm coming to realize that sometimes it isn't all you that get thoughts moving in the right direction. I know that the angels help point us in the right direction. Even though I have questioned my faith in the past I feel I have come full circle and am embracing my faith, knowing the Angels are talking! All I have to do is listen. I'm such a work in progress!! :-)
I went to my first dance class in 4 years tonight! It was absolutely wonderful! It is a ballet/tap combo class for adults and there were 3 of us plus the teacher. It was great. I had boob sweat! I'm still in shock over the fact that I had boob sweat! I haven't had that in 4 years. It felt great. What wasn't so great was seeing myself in a leotard. That was definitely a low in the evening. I just wrote about it to my friends and that was tough. Finally admitting to myself that I need to get working. Hello my name is Kim and I'm a talker and not a doer about my health. Hello Kim! I just sat there staring, realizing that I have been in complete denial over how I felt about how I looked more importantly how I felt. Like I told my friends it wasn't all about how I looked but how I felt about my not being completely engaged in getting healthy and in shape. What was I thinking? We'll I can tell you..."it's not that bad." I have uttered that phrase to myself too many times. In dance class, you are always critiquing how you look during technique, choreography etc. You have to be honest with yourself and if something isn't working right you find a way to fix it. Why has it taken me so long to look in the mirror and be honest with myself that this isn't working and I have to fix my health? It was a good awakening in lighting the fire under my tush to be serious! I hope I didn't get too deep in relaying this story to my friends? I just hope I didn't get to heavy. I'm coming to realize that sometimes it isn't all you that get thoughts moving in the right direction. I know that the angels help point us in the right direction. Even though I have questioned my faith in the past I feel I have come full circle and am embracing my faith, knowing the Angels are talking! All I have to do is listen. I'm such a work in progress!! :-)
Friday, March 14, 2008
On the Mend In More Ways then One
Hello Friend,
We'll the entire house is on the way to getting back to some form of normalcy. The sickness is finally on the mend and DH is back from overseas. I'm also really looking forward to tomorrow nights "craft till you drop" night with friends. I really feel like I need a dose of friends and laughter. I'm in need of a good laugh. I have had a really hard time with lent this year. My Lenten promise this year was to give up negative thoughts for those that have hurt me, my family or my dear friends. This has been harder then I thought it would be. I have realized that forgiveness is a quality that I desperately need to incorporate into my soul. So, even though this has been hard I truly believe that this is what I am meant to be doing this Lenten season. Finding forgiveness. I know the angels are there to help.
Daily Gratitude's:
1. To god, for leading me down the path to forgiveness this Lenten season and every day.
2. To my DD, for just being in my life. I am so blessed with you in it.
3. To my DH, for getting home safely and cuddling with DD all day. She missed him so much and it warmed my heart!
We'll the entire house is on the way to getting back to some form of normalcy. The sickness is finally on the mend and DH is back from overseas. I'm also really looking forward to tomorrow nights "craft till you drop" night with friends. I really feel like I need a dose of friends and laughter. I'm in need of a good laugh. I have had a really hard time with lent this year. My Lenten promise this year was to give up negative thoughts for those that have hurt me, my family or my dear friends. This has been harder then I thought it would be. I have realized that forgiveness is a quality that I desperately need to incorporate into my soul. So, even though this has been hard I truly believe that this is what I am meant to be doing this Lenten season. Finding forgiveness. I know the angels are there to help.
Daily Gratitude's:
1. To god, for leading me down the path to forgiveness this Lenten season and every day.
2. To my DD, for just being in my life. I am so blessed with you in it.
3. To my DH, for getting home safely and cuddling with DD all day. She missed him so much and it warmed my heart!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Daily Gratitude
Hello Friend,
I have been really sick today so this is going to be short.
1. For my DD who was just wonderful today while I was sick. What a good listener today.
2. For my DM who was just amazingly helpful. It would have been so tough today without her help.
3. For god, I know he is watching over my family while we are spread out all over the world and keeping us safe.
Good Night!
I have been really sick today so this is going to be short.
1. For my DD who was just wonderful today while I was sick. What a good listener today.
2. For my DM who was just amazingly helpful. It would have been so tough today without her help.
3. For god, I know he is watching over my family while we are spread out all over the world and keeping us safe.
Good Night!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Daily Gratitude
Hello Friend,
I didn't get in my daily gratitude's yesterday with trying to get DH ready for trip and studying for school. Making time for myself is something I really need to work on so here is today's.
1. For my DD who gently put her hands on either side of my face today and said "I love you mommy."
2. For the airlines for getting DH to destination safely.
3. For the wonderful wind and sun today on my lunch break from school. It blew away any negative thoughts I was having and gave me the breath of fresh air I so desperately needed at that time.
4. For my DM, who can always find a different color of grey in the grey areas and make them work.
5. For DH, for his unconditional love! Sappy I know, but so very true!
I didn't get in my daily gratitude's yesterday with trying to get DH ready for trip and studying for school. Making time for myself is something I really need to work on so here is today's.
1. For my DD who gently put her hands on either side of my face today and said "I love you mommy."
2. For the airlines for getting DH to destination safely.
3. For the wonderful wind and sun today on my lunch break from school. It blew away any negative thoughts I was having and gave me the breath of fresh air I so desperately needed at that time.
4. For my DM, who can always find a different color of grey in the grey areas and make them work.
5. For DH, for his unconditional love! Sappy I know, but so very true!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
In The Beginning
So here I go. I have decided to give the blog thing a try. I'm excited, scared, nervous.... I guess you always feel that way when you tackle something new. I have decided to begin this blog as my daily gratitude journal. It is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life that we forget the positive, the good, the amazing. I'm also working on my 101 things in 1,001 days. One of my DF's is participating in this and I just love the idea. I'm such a list maker and this is just so much fun and inspiring. My goal is to finish my list it this weekend and get it up on my blog so I can see it and work on it every day. Lots to do, but if I don't do this for myself then who will?
Daily Gratitudes:
1. My DD, who amazes me, makes me laugh, tests my patience and who is the love and joy of my life every day! She made up her own song today for Chik-Fillet that included a dance! I have to look up theater classes for her. That may just need to be added to my 101 things list.
2. My DH, who works his tail off so I can be home with my DD. Who loves me on my good and bad days no matter what!
3. For the rain today so that all that needed to be washed away was washed away, to help the earth with its thirst, and for the fresh, crisp air that followed.
4. For my DF's. They always seem to be there for me before I realize I need them.
5. For my family. That is really all that needs to be said. I could probably do a whole blog on just my family.
Have a great night!
Daily Gratitudes:
1. My DD, who amazes me, makes me laugh, tests my patience and who is the love and joy of my life every day! She made up her own song today for Chik-Fillet that included a dance! I have to look up theater classes for her. That may just need to be added to my 101 things list.
2. My DH, who works his tail off so I can be home with my DD. Who loves me on my good and bad days no matter what!
3. For the rain today so that all that needed to be washed away was washed away, to help the earth with its thirst, and for the fresh, crisp air that followed.
4. For my DF's. They always seem to be there for me before I realize I need them.
5. For my family. That is really all that needs to be said. I could probably do a whole blog on just my family.
Have a great night!
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